On Making Choices

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I remember in my early twenties feeling like every opportunity was good. And each one seemed possible because I had nothing holding me back. There was no one stopping me from moving across country, taking a job in the city, or saving my pennies to travel the world.

Every turn seemed like the right one. And this was the place I’d panic because it felt like standing in the middle of a busy intersection when the lanes split, and you have to choose which way to go. My natural tendency was to stand motionless, afraid of making any choice for fear that’d it be the wrong one. I’d cry out for a map, anything to give me a glimpse into my life and how it’d all shake out so I wouldn’t make the wrong move.

I so badly wanted to be in the right place at the right time that I didn’t fully live anywhere. I’d make a choice and yet dream of what else could be. I’d live in one place and ache to move to another.

As I’ve gotten older, the restlessness has subsided. Sure I dream of other places and worry when life starts to feel “too comfortable” but typically I’m grateful and satisfied. (This is only possible through lots of prayer & rich community.)

But when it comes to making decisions and choosing what to do and when to do it? This one still plagues me. I have a tendency to offer an exuberant “YES” without thinking it through. Because deep down I fear I could miss something really good.

And what if the good thing never comes back? What if I miss my one and only chance?

What if my no closes the door to other opportunities that could have come my way?

Can I be really honest here? Lean in close.

It will, it might, it could...

{I wrote this post over at Verity Varee. You can read the full post by clicking here. I sure hope you enjoy.}